Serving...

I'm still finding it hard to believe that we will be leaving for AFRICA in less than 5 weeks.

There are days when I wonder if I am up for this; if this is really God's will for me. After all, Brea is called to this. Amie has dreamed about this her whole life. And me. Well, I'd never even considered the idea before a month ago.

Then there are times when I am absolutely certain I'm heading in the right direction. For instance, a friend and I went to a women's retreat this past weekend. We get in line to register and the theme for the weekend is: "Serving...because Christ served". I immediately thought, "How appropriate! I get to learn about serving right before leaving for Africa." Not 2 seconds later, my friend looks at me with tears in her eyes and says, "How cool that you get to hear this right before you go to Africa!". Such sweet confirmation.

Throughout the weekend, I felt such a deep desire to go to Kenya to SERVE. Serve with my heart, with my words and with my touch. To give more of me than I'd ever given before. Expecting nothing in return. Simply pouring out all I have.

One of the speakers spoke of her recent mission trip and I could not stop crying, I felt such a connection with her heart. It's times like this weekend when I know that somehow God also has a purpose for me in Africa, not just for my friends. I am deeply humbled by the opportunity and am so grateful that God can use this willing heart even with all the doubts and insecurities that rage through my mind at times.

Unfortunately, I can't go to a weekend retreat in Williams every time I begin to have doubts or insecurities about the trip. Instead, I simply need to go to throne and continue to lay my life down, trusting that He will lead me to exactly where He wants me to be. He will equip me with exactly what I will need. And in the end, He will receive all the glory.

Which is perfect. Because that's all this heart really wants, anyway.